So...I've mentioned my brother three times in the last couple of weeks. If you don't normally think of your brother, don't. Apparently it makes them call you REALLY early in the morning.
I live close enough to my workplace that I can set my alarm for 7:45, still get away with punching snooze, and get to work by 9am, including a quick shower. Answering the phone at 6:45, I was too groggy to even say, what the hell time is it anyway?
My brother sounded chipper. He's held a job since the beginning of the summer. He's living with a girl and his life feels normal - paying his own way without feeling like he needs to go, hat in hand, to someone who doesn't want to help him out anyway (these someones would be our parents), because the "helping" always involves cash. His last call for help was to my mother, near Mother's Day, to say, hey, great to talk to you, first time in ten years...can you lend me five thousand dollars?
He rattled on about things for a few minutes, and then said, oh Steph, I just realized I probably woke you up. I'm really sorry. I cut him off mid-sentence, it's okay, don't worry about it, I'm glad you're calling to chat instead of calling to tell me something's wrong. He said, almost shyly, I was just thinking it would be kind of cool to see you, I mean, I know Christmas is coming up and you're probably going to be busy....
I'm glad my brain was on auto-pilot, and that my mouth went ahead and said, Christmas is supposed to be for family, so I think that's a good reason to get together instead of a good reason to postpone. He burst forth and said, I've wanted to call you for such a long time, I know it's been six months since we talked last. I keep thinking, I'll have an hour tonight to give my sissy a call and say hi, and that hour never happens, but I realized I have lots of ten minute windows every day that I could start doing some of the things that I never seem to get done. I'm glad calling you was at the top of my list, even if it makes you tired today.
And I have to say, after I hung up and had a cup of tea and got human, I was glad he took that ten minute window to call. Maybe now that I'm awake, I can apply that philosophy to my own outlook on life, instead of procrastinating until I've got that mythical "more time" window to do something meaningful.